After the move, She started middle school. Living with Her grandparents was not always easy. They were used to having their home to themselves, save for babysitting Her baby cousin. It was a big change to add an 11 year old and a 5 year old. The transition was not always easy, for anyone.
Just a few months later, Her mother found a home to rent about 20 minutes away. It was small, but adequate. She had a room that while not a bedroom, suited her. There were built in shelving units and She was an avid reader. The Girl turned 12 in November, and moved to Her new school in January. Still a fairly quiet kid, she met some friends in her neighborhood. She learned to fit in, and slowly blossomed. Her closest friend was Cherie, and her older sisters. The Girl spent countless nights at their home (just a street over) and going to their church. They became much like a second family.
Her new school was where She witnessed her first physical fight - on her first day, two girls fought and one was slashed with a razor blade. It certainly wasn't the last either; there were fights quite often. There were bomb threats as well - more than once the whole school spent hours outside, waiting for the building to be cleared. The whole bit was a much more rough environment than the one she had come from and She had to adapt. She was louder, more outspoken, and sometimes, meaner. Some of the meanness was perhaps due to the things she had suppressed.
*****
In seventh grade, a lot stayed the same. Lots happened, friendships faded and new ones grew. There were childish fights that were mended. It was also the first time She began to struggle in school. The Girl remembers crying over her first C. It was a Social Studies class and Her teacher wrote her a note. Again, things The Girl had never thought of or dealt with - like pregnant classmates and kids 'dating.' They called themselves "going out with" but rarely actually went anywhere with these boyfriends. Occasional group dates was the most She had experienced...and had her first kiss at one of them.
They spent time at the nearby beach with their friend Krysta during the summer. She got her first sunburn that summer. There were lots of sleepovers and general young teenage girl stuff.They giggled and talked about boys. That fall, they went to football games at the high school where Cherie's older sisters now attended.
This was the year though, that things began to flood back to The Girl. Snippets, small visions. Nightmares and waking up at night. She still refused to talk about it beyond the most basic statement, "I was molested by my father." There was no emotion attached to it, it was just a fact. However, the emotion came back with the memories. She was full of anger, rage really, and hated remembering. She decided that the way to deal with this was to kill herself.
While serious, She was never quite brave enough. She did end up telling her school counselor though, and Mrs C once again called her mother. She landed right back in counseling at a local children's center, where She once again never shared details. Things went on as before, only now with added counseling appointments. They would continue for a few years.
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